So it goes

Dec. 31st, 2007 01:01 pm
meorae: (Default)
My grandmother died last night after a number of months of decline. We all knew it was coming, and my mother's been in New York with her for the weekend. I'm not sure how to react yet, but I just wanted to make note of it. And this means I don't have any grandparents left... So it goes.
meorae: (Hugh Jackman)
Blah. I finally asked teachers today about recommendations. Morgenbesser said he'd be happy to write me a recommendation but Skitsis said she didn't have enough time (seeing as basically everyone who had her last year - and she only teaches juniors - has asked her) and would prefer it if I asked someone else. And I don't know who to ask... I had back-up ideas for if Morgenbesser said he couldn't (such as Kraus, Bookston or Flynn), but haven't thought through any other Englishy teachers. Richardson would probably write me a wonderful one, but she's from sophomore year, so I don't know. Tobin/Mccarthy/Camelio all would probably write me one, but I've only been in their classes for a month and I don't know if the recommendation will be strong enough. Magil would definitely write me a good recommendation, but I already have a mathy rec, and I hated Magil as a teacher. And other than Konstandakis, who doesn't really know me, and Bob, who isn't an academic teacher, those are all of my teachers from the past two years.

And then, my grandmother is dying. I don't know if I can deal with this right now. My mom left for New York this morning to say goodbye. Based on what my parents have told me, my grandmother doesn't want any form of life support and will most likely die sometime in the next week. She's my last grandparent. And I don't know.
meorae: (Default)
My uncle died today. He was my dad's oldest brother and we just got the phone call half an hour ago. I didn't know him. I've met him maybe twice in my life. I didn't know David either. And now both of my parents have lost a sibling near their age in the past year.

I don't know. I haven't cried in months and now I can't stop.
meorae: (Despair)
Freddie's been put to sleep...

He's deaf, had a thyroid problem for the past few years, recently became arthritic and a few weeks ago, diabetic. He hates needles and my mom made the decision not to give him insulin. So we knew he was going to deteriorate. The other day he lost his bladder control. He's 20 and obviously not going to recover and my parents didn't want him to suffer as much as Rosalie and Sophie did before being put out of their misery. I'm not sure how I feel about that, but I'm in a strange state of mind right now. Haven't cried as much as I did for Sophie, but maybe that's because my parents asked my brother and I a few days ago if we thought it was ok to put him to sleep. I spent Thursday night petting him for almost an hour and basically let go then and I held him for ten minutes this morning. At least I got to say goodbye, I guess.
meorae: (Default)
Did everyone get headaches after the play? Or are Cecille, Elisabeth and I just special like that?

So, I'm done with all of my homework except for the history vocab, which I really should start sometime soon.

And my topic for history is now the evolution of waste management as there wasn't enough crap about waste and it's impact over the past 100 years. Chebator hasn't approved it yet, but oh well. I'm doing it.

The perfomance of R+J was ok although the slash between Mercutio and Romeo was way too blatant. I liked the actress who played Tybalt and the Nurse a lot, though. Also, as Otis pointed out, the guy who played Romeo was horrible at using a sword. Although otis also said something about how Romeo resorted to headbutting, which Carol, Elisabeth and I all took the completely wrong way. We're way too corrupted for our own good.

I didn't do much in any of my classes today, but that might have been because we normally don't do much in math and english and I missed all the rest of my classes except for spanish, in which we watched a movie.

On Tuesday, I spent a couple of hours reading through what I hadn't read of Arcana and then I shoveled. A wonderful way to spend a snow day. I really don't think we should have had a snow day, but that's my opinion.

At dinner every night, I'm still reminded of Sophie as she's the only cat of ours who used yowling to beg. must snap out of this...
meorae: (Default)
My mind's in this floaty state right now. I feel like I should be sobbing my eyes out for Sophie, but I also feel like I should get over it and move on. And the chant through my head for the past four or so hours has been "sophie, she's gone, sophie, rosalie, molly, they're all gone, sophie, sophie, get over it, sophie, sophie, my namesake's gone, why, sophie." My mind keeps going back to fourth grade when Rosalie was put down and remembering how I felt then and realizing that I felt sad then because my mom was upset and not really anything else. I missed her but no more than if I had been going over to a friend's house for the night. And it was the same thing when my grandmother died. I didn't know her that well, I was sad because my mom and dad were and that was how I should be. Now I actually feel sad and lost and I don't know. Sophie's gone!

Supposedly Sophie and Freddy were Christmas presents to my dad before I was born. I'm not sure if Bear was born yet or not. But I wasn't. My mom went out Christmas Eve or sometime and my dad thought she was going to get pastries.

After school was fun, although that might just be my mind warping the events before I got home. So someone pulled the fire alarm because of smoke in the science wing and the cast of the play, the teachers and the crew from the cafeteria were standing around outside. Rob and some other male senior I don't know were singing Steven Lynch's If I Were Gay song, which I had never heard before. It was amusing to say the least and Carol missed it until some of the last lines.

My history topic right now is "the waste of natural resources around the world and the environmental impact over the past 100 years." Elisabeth came up with the topic because we were discussing how idiotic Chebator was to be forcing us to use 40 notecards when we could all just type it up on the computer and have it perfectly organized. So we were discussing how much paper it was wasting if he was having everyone from all of his classes use them. And Elisabeth suggested the waste of paper around the world as a joke for a topic, but it actually sounds sort of interesting.

Here we are dear old friend
You and I drunk again
Laughs have been had and tears have been shed
Maybe the whiskey has gone to my head

But if I were gay, I would give you my heart
And if I were gay you'd be my work of art
If I were gay we would swim in romance
But I'm not gay so get your hand out of my pants

Its not that I don't care, I do
I just don't see myself in you
Another time another scene
I'd be right behind you if you know what I mean

If I were gay I would give you my soul
If I were gay I would give you my hole.. being
If I were gay we would tear down the walls
But I'm not gay so why don't you stop cupping my b...hands

We've never hugged, we've never kissed
I've never been intimate with your fist
You have opened brand new doors
Get over here and drop your........
meorae: (Default)
Sophie's been put to sleep.

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